Hineni

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Hineni

“Oh, we could be stars. We could be stars.” ~ Stars, Alessia Cara

The other morning, on the spur of the moment, I woke up and decided to go to yoga.

I hadn’t planned to make it out of bed so early, but I did, and apparently a lot of other people did, too. The class that morning was close to several workout spots, and, with the sun barely up, it was already rush hour on the block. I walked among the early birds, as we made our way to our various destinations, mine in the corner building on the floor at the very top. I climbed the staircase and checked in at the front desk.

“I’m Anne,” I said. “I’m here!”

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Direction

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Direction

Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me. ~ Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen

We were on our mats in a twisting flow at yoga. We’d already twisted in one direction, flowed some more in another and were about to twist in the other. I bent my knees, lowered my hips and placed my hands in prayer at my heart. I readied myself ahead of the instructions and started twisting to the right.

“Twist to the right!” the instructor said.

The class balked. Having already twisted earlier in that direction, everyone had known to go left, except for me. That previous turn wasn’t even in my memory!

“I’m sorry!” the instructor said. “I was watching Anne!”

I’ve been plagued with a questionable sense of direction from the time I can remember. In fact, one of my first memories is that of being lost, back when my sister and I would walk together to Hebrew school.

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Muscles

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Muscles

Yoga is like a long car ride, and I feel like the kid in the back seat asking, "When are we gonna get there?"

I’m thinking I need some more muscles. Not necessarily big ones, just more than I’ve got.

I remember when I started yoga, I stood in a studio with a group of women who had probably been working out most of their days.

It was day one for me.

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Confessions

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Confessions

We all carry some secrets, large and small.

The small ones are universal. They are the everyday thoughts we keep quiet as we walk around doing whatever it is that we do.

And what I do every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning is yoga.

For the most part, the practice clears my head. Whatever is on my mind seems to leave through the music and the movement.

After one such practice, a fellow yogi walked up to me to compliment my poses.

How long have you been doing yoga? he asked.

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Suck It Up!

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Suck It Up!

It seems like forever that I've been working on my handstands.

In every single class, I am upside down and trying to remain so. If I happen to be at a class where none are done, I stay after to work on mine.

At one point, I was in a class where we were all helping each other. Pressing down on my mat, I moved my feet as close to my hands as possible.

In my mind’s eye, I press down to go up. I want to pull in my belly and straddle my feet while raising them up to land a handstand.

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Inversions

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Inversions

Okay, let’s play with an inversion.

These are the words of my yoga instructor towards the end of each class. We get about five minutes to go upside down before our final stretches.

Any kind of inversion will do, as long as our legs are above our hearts.

Some people are in shoulder stand, on their backs with their feet in the air, arms tucked under the hips for support. Some people rest their legs up along the wall.

Others are in Headstand or Handstand or Forearm Stand, trying one and then another other and stopping in between to chat.

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Motivation

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Motivation

I have given my daughter an assignment.

And that is to send me photos of Buddhas from her travels in and around New York City.

I figure I need them for my blog, and they have become an item of interest for me, anyway.

Hopefully, just knowing they are on their way will help motivate me to write.

My daughter understands this, as she happens to be a yogi, too, and so I have gotten pictures like this from her in the past.

But, like with all of us, sometimes, it is just hard to get up and go; to actually start the day.

It might be raining. It might be too hot. There might be hiccups like not enough sleep, too many customer orders, or some daunting tasks.

Or, there could be just too much humidity like the other day when I received a photo of my daughter, a mass of curls atop her head with a text that simply said, Help!

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Warrior

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Warrior

We were standing in Warrior II, a pose that at one time was my favorite pose.

Arms extend front to back, the legs lunge forward, and the hips open to the side.

At one time, Ihad thought this pose was easy. Now, I beg to differ.

95 degree heat. Sweat dripping down every part of my body.

The class is an army of warriors, and the instructor is our commander, pointing out minor adjustments to everyone in the room.

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Standing Tall

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Standing Tall

Standing on your hands in class does not make you a better yogi; instead, standing on your feet in the chaos of the street is what makes you better.

These were the words of the New York City yoga instructor one summer morning when my daughter finally, triumphantly, nailed a Handstand.

Surroundings can impact us.

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Chicken Little

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Chicken Little

When I was little, the mean girl in the neighborhood just terrorized us.

I was five or six years old and hung with my sister, older by a year. I felt safe with her. This girl would sometimes join the other kids from the block when we played outside in our backyard.

One day the mean girl pointed to the sky.

We looked up and saw an airplane’s leftover white trail cutting the sky in two.

The sky is falling, she hollered! The sky is falling!

My sister ran, and I followed, convinced the white line had sliced the sky from the air.

We yanked open the screen door to the kitchen and let it slam behind us, considering ourselves safe on the inside while we peered fearfully at the sky outside.

I am afraid to say that I have sort of relived this scenario as an adult.

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Influence

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Influence

There are people in my life who influence me, some to whom I am very close; others who are really just passing through. It never really strikes me that I might be in a position myself to influence others.

Turns out, I am!

And that position is upside down.

Being upside down has become a highlight of my day.

The inversion segment of my yoga class is only about five minutes long, but it is the part of class that is the most fun for me.

During this time, we can practice anything we want as long as part of our body is upside down. Shoulder stand. Handstand. Forearm stand. Headstand.

It is our choice, and our instructor either walks around and helps us or leaves us be on the chance we might topple over with his attention.

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Expansion

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Expansion

Giving is a good thing.

It has positive connotations, especially in the holiday season, starting with Thanksgiving and lasting through the end of the year.

It is good to give of our time, our talents, ourselves. 

But, when giving comes easy, other challenges can arise.

For me, giving is so much in my nature that receiving can actually be difficult, and this ironic concept was brought home in yoga just the other day.

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Exit Strategy

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Exit Strategy

Life pretty much cooks along for the most part.

In general, things go according to plan in what my son refers to as “The Land of Anne”.

Sometimes, though, challenges pop up along several fronts, and I can find myself navigating some choppy waters.

Sometimes,it can feel as if I have been at sea for a while.

On a recent trip, I was most eager to attend a yoga class, hoping to find calm with the room baking, the sweat dripping, the muscles twitching and the instructor talking.

Stay in it, she said. It was your decision to come here. Don’t think about running now.

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Overboard

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Last Friday I went overboard.

Faced a fear and lived to tell!

I consider my yoga mat a safe haven.

Like a Kindergartener who pulls out a mat during rest period, I am content to arrive at yoga, take my mat from the shelf, unroll it, and step to it.

My mat is longer than my body and less than a yard wide. And, best of all, it is purple, my favorite color since Kindergarten days.

The yoga practice takes place 100 percent on the mat. One yogi, one mat. Some classes can be so crowded that a person might be only inches from a neighbor, but each one’s mat honors a personal space.

The yoga mat is home to every student and to every asana.

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Weightlessness

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Weightlessness

was pretty lucky to have enjoyed a fairly carefree childhood.

I have great memories, especially of summer evenings, when all my neighborhood friends would gather on the front lawn to play games, ride bikes and stay out until it got dark

In my elementary school years, I was actually pretty adventurous. I used to hop on the back of my friend’s bike, and he would drive wild all over the streets, careening down the most hilly ones at top speed. 

We would do the same on his skateboard, riding double and hanging on for dear life.

He tied a stick to a rope to a tree, and I hopped on and swung over the backyard’s creek from one bank to the other, until I had to jump before risking getting stuck still over the water.

I would ride my bike with no hands, fearless, and walk on the stilts my dad made.

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Open Face

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Open Face

I often get to help my daughter with her work in New York City and, each time I go, I pack up my yoga mat and together we attend as many classes as our schedule allows.

Although I am early on in my working out, my daughter has been cross training for many years.

She works out with a trainer, runs along the East River and takes yoga religiously.

I am always amazed that she can just throw her hair up, put on her workout gear and look beautiful before, during and after her sweat.

I even have a memory of one of her school coaches asking me, How is it she looks like she just got off the runway instead of the soccer field?

I, on the other hand, would never leave the house without hair and makeup done, much less appear in New York City that way. Having my bangs trimmed and done was always key to a good day.

Yoga, however, has changed all that.

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Half Moon

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Half Moon

I am not sure how this connection came to be, but theonly way for me to balance in the yoga pose of Half Moon is to visualize my son standing at the far end of the studio.

Sometimes, he is in his tennis whites like he was in middle and high school. Sometimes, he is in a suit, like he is now in at his job.

Somehow, seeing him enables me to maintain my footing in the pose.

Seeing my son has always seemed to ground me.

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